I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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