were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
