You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
