the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
