Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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