Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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