i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is Oprah even human
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
