You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
