glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
