the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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