Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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