Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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