Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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