he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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