I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
