did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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