I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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