I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
