I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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