Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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