And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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