honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
