Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
