haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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