Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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