yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
