i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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