belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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