So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
