What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my liver is dry heaving
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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