i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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