I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
