i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
