Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
