Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
