i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
