and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
