Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
