he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
