Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
is it fun? or sober?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
