Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
