wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
