It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
