Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
