I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
