Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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