im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
