great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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