That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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