So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
