Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the day after is always just damage control
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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