We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
